Israel Ricky Gonzales
JoinedPosts by Israel Ricky Gonzales
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3
Isn't that what they use to deter people from escaping prison?
by dubstepped inthe title is what a person today told me as i was explaining the changes i've seen and made in fading from the watchtower.
he got a smile on his face and asked that question about watch towers being manned with men in guns to prevent people from escaping prison.
man, i never thought about it like that, but he nailed it with such a simple observation.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
What gets me that that their blackmail is touted as an honorable way to get someone to come back to Jehovah, aka the truth, aka the organization, aka the cult. -
69
The 1995 Generation Change
by sloppyjoe2 ini was just a teenager and have a vivid memory of sitting in a chair doing a microphone for the sunday meeting.
everyone was commenting that it didn't mean the end was far off, and it didn't change the condition of the dead, or the 144,000, or the trinity so we should still remain faithful.
this is my first memory as a kid being just a teen that i ever had a single doubt.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
Seems like there are a few on this thread my age, 36 now, so I was 16 when this doctrinal change happened. I was 32 when the overlapping generation change happened. And I was 35 when they admitted they they were NOT appointed in 1919 over all Christ's belongings. All three changes flew over my radar.
I do remember being at a Circuit Assembly in 2010 when it was time to review the WT article with the overlapping change and seeing many overjoyed and talking about it afterward. I was kind of in a state of shock on the whole thing and seeing a sister actually cry out in joy for this change, but thought nothing of it afterwards. I guess I was just a sleep walking JW for 20+ years who used critical thinking for everything else in life except when it came to my own religion.
After I started waking up in 2014, and started realizing that I had been duped, it immediately came to me: Wait a minute! They admitted in 2013 that they were NEVER appointed by Jesus. Sooooooooo, for over 90 years, they taught AS TRUTH of an appointment by Jesus himself that never happened???!!!
It was like cognitive dissonance slapping me into reality.
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39
Just an introduction
by Israel Ricky Gonzales injust wanted to say hello since i am new to this forum.
allow myself to introduce myself.
lol.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
"T", I will be there and hope to see "E" and "J" there too. -
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Just an introduction
by Israel Ricky Gonzales injust wanted to say hello since i am new to this forum.
allow myself to introduce myself.
lol.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
Island Man, I LOVE IT! Thanks for that insight. -
39
Just an introduction
by Israel Ricky Gonzales injust wanted to say hello since i am new to this forum.
allow myself to introduce myself.
lol.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXscWL41DcNbIAfXL1eGKiQ
Its just a bunch of musing and ranting. LOL
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39
Just an introduction
by Israel Ricky Gonzales injust wanted to say hello since i am new to this forum.
allow myself to introduce myself.
lol.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
We had another marriage counseling session yesterday and we talked about guidelines if we move back together.
Our counselor said she was amazed at how fast and how fluid our relationship was moving, in a positive manner. She mentioned that most couples she visits with, in similar circumstances, takes MANY months to reconcile. She said it was obvious we have a strong foundation to build upon despite religious differences .
That was very encouraging to hear, as well as the comments previously.
My situation may not be a common occurrence when one mate wakes up and the other doesn't but I do believe had she wanted to get a divorce, she could have trumped up allegations to the elders and got their blessing to allow her a divorce on the grounds of spiritual endangerment.
I don't know what the elders and her friends are telling her to do, but she is sticking it out. That tells me there was more than just a religious bond in our marriage.
Would I like for her to wake of? Of course! But I have to be honest with myself and realize, like mentioned earlier, sometimes spouses have the hardest time waking up their mate. I think if we can keep the religious aspect out of things as much as possible, a happy marriage is possible.
Now, my kids are a different story. I am determined not to lose them to the cult.
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39
Just an introduction
by Israel Ricky Gonzales injust wanted to say hello since i am new to this forum.
allow myself to introduce myself.
lol.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
I have told her, in our first counseling session, that I do not want to be the master of her faith, nor will I resist her continuing to be a JW. She has her right to practice her own faith, whatever that may be, as much as I have a right to not be a JW.
I could figuratively see the walls coming down after that moment. She had built an 8ft thick, double wall, Babylonian style, wall of protection toward me. But what has really helped the most, in my opinion, was her being forced to stop pioneering and work full-time when I separated. The dosage of indoctrination was reduced significantly.
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39
Just an introduction
by Israel Ricky Gonzales injust wanted to say hello since i am new to this forum.
allow myself to introduce myself.
lol.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
Just wanted to say HELLO since I am new to this forum. Allow myself to introduce myself. LOL
This is my real name. I go by Ricky though. I was raised a J-double-U since I was 6 years old and got baptized when I was 15 years old in 1994. I was DF'd twice in my late teens and early 20's and ended up getting on the straight and narrow after my second DF'ing. I got married to a very spiritual JW sister in 2005, had our son in 2007, and our daughter in 2009.
After the birth of our son, my wife quit her well paying career to be a stay at home mother and a full-time pioneer. This spearheaded this twice-DF'd-brother to get privileges and eventually become a MS in 2009, which I remained one until the day I was DF'd for the 3rd and final time, July 24, 2014.
I started waking up in March of 2014, just after the memorial. We were also revving up to have an international convention held in our territory, so while everyone was buzzing about this special privilege to host an international convention in our own backyard, I was immersing myself, like a sponge,about learning TTATT.
Eventually my wife could no longer take the little nuggets of TTATT I shared with her when she asked, and she gave me an ultimatum to go talk to the elders or else she would, cell phone in hand. I agree to talk to them after the convention, which was less than 2 weeks away.
I don't think she seriously thought I would get DF'd just by talking to the elders, but I had pretty much told her that the information she was rejecting made me think seriously if I wanted to remain a JW. By the time I sat down with the elders, and my judicial committee, there was so much wrong going on toward me by elders that I considered to be close friends, that I made my mind up and I did not want to be a JW any longer. My family did not want to listen to me and my wife was basically rejecting me. The process of losing everything had already begun even before it was decided that I was to be disfellowshipped.
Anyways, my story is not unique. I lost just about everything, family, friends, home, possessions. Home life was miserable, my JW wife began shunning me at home, we fought about everything, and my kids were suffering. I ended up separating back in November. Seemed like divorce was imminent.
But back in March, for some unknown reason, we started to try to reconcile one last try before moving forward with a divorce. Things have actually gotten better. She suggested marriage counseling, which has helped tremendously. She said that she no longer sees me as an apostate, but as an unbeliever. She has suggested doing things together that normal JWs would not do, like going to a hip-hop concert at a casino for our 10 year anniversary back in April. I have chosen not to talk about religion or my new beliefs, simple because we could not talk about it without the conversation getting overheated. I have given up hope of her waking up. Maybe she will in her own time, but it's not going to be from me. She asked enough questions and I shared enough TTATT with her to make a normal, reasonable person to stop and think. But it almost ended our marriage. We are still separated but I think we may end up getting back together soon, probably when the new school year starts. So, I have resolved to just let it go. There may be something that snaps her out of it, but like I said, it's not going to be me... until she is ready to leave.
Anyways, I didn't think this post would be this long, so thanks for reading the entire post. In 10 days it will be one year free and disfellowshipped as a big bad apostate. I'm around on YouTube, I blog for avoidjw.org, and I'm active in the XJW Facebook world, so feel free to send friend requests, email, IM, etc. Its nice to be here and I enjoy this forum. I've known about it for some time, I just don't know why it's taken me this long to join. Nice to be here y'all.
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69
Thinking of Going Full Disclosure With Wife. Sorta
by freemindfade insoliciting any and all opinions.
as some of you may know, wife is full in pioneer.
my fade has gone from us fighting.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
Sad but true.
When confronted with evidence and facts, it was weird hearing my JW wife spill out WT words as if they were her own. After a few confrontations, I knew exactly what she was going to say. The programming is encoded into their brain. For some, it takes a LOT to "reformat" or "reboot" their way of thinking
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69
Thinking of Going Full Disclosure With Wife. Sorta
by freemindfade insoliciting any and all opinions.
as some of you may know, wife is full in pioneer.
my fade has gone from us fighting.
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Israel Ricky Gonzales
My wife had been a pioneer for the past 7 years up until 4 months ago when she was forced to resume working full-time again. I was a ministerial servant from 2009-2014 when I was disfellowshipped for apostasy.
I started waking up in March on 2014, just after the memorial. It didn't take long for me to realize that the apostates were telling the truth and that WT is the liar. I was like a sponge when it came to TTATT. I even secretly used a week of vacation to research TTATT at the local library.
One day my wife asked me what was wrong with me, since I had not been myself. I disclosed to her about the Conti case, but she refuted it like a JW champ. I left it at that. A few more week go by and she asks if I am still researching about that case and I gave her another little nugget, but has the WT programmed into her brain very well.
Finally, when I found out about the Johannes Greber issue, I had a full blown panic attack while she was at home. I had to show her what I discovered on WT Library CD, of all places. She called me an apostate that evening and nothing has been the same since. She gave me an ultimatum to go get help from the elders, or she would talk to them for me. I don't think she thought I would get disfellowshipped. But I knew TTATT and I didn't think God would ever chose a religion that calls themselves "the truth" that lies so much and protects child molestors.
I did end up getting disfellowshipped and nothing has been the same. She started shunning me at home and treating me like crap, even in front of our 2 kids. I ended up separating and for a while it looked like things were headed for divorce.
But in the past 3-4 months, we agreed, at her request, to go to marriage counseling to see if there was anything left worth trying to repair. Things have really improved from where it was headed. She has lightened up considerable. She even said that she doesn't see me as an apostate, just as an unbeliever. That is huge because she knows I make Youtube videos and blog about my former religion.
I don't know if it's a good idea or not to go full disclosure, but sooner or later, it will come out one way or another. Just be prepared mentally for the worse. In my case, I don't know if we will ever fully reconcile and get back together, I hope we do, but who knows. Members of that cult are so programmed when it comes to their loyalty to the organization.